Thursday, September 30, 2004


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Just for the record, why 'ccc'?

When I first bought a computer, I was registering with all these websites - "chris" was invariably taken - "chrischris" was often used too - "chrischrischris", however, wasn't. Due to laziness, the "-hris-hris-hris" soon fell off.

What are you up to these days?

As usual, I'm just messing with material for my own pleasure. I'm utterly blown away by Brian Wilson's new recording of SMiLE, so have been mashing all the original Beach Boys bootlegs to this new 'official' sequence. Just for my own sick pleasure, you understand. I've also supplied the music for some idents on some Sky channel or another, thanks to the brilliant Ben Wheatley - but generally I'm waiting for my muse to return from wherever it seems to have flown to.

As well as that, I'm trying to break the world record for consuming the most amount of baked beans. The world record is six pounds of beans in 1 minute 48 seconds - so far I've only managed 2 tins in 2 minutes, but I feel if Heinz were fully behind me, I'd bring that record back home - where it belongs.

What music are you currently listening to?

Just looking to my right, I see a pile of Beach Boys CDs, plus a fine new band from Texas called Hyperbubble (Human League meets Yazoo - & they have a nice song about a cat - which can't be bad), Procol Harum, Syd Barrett, George Harrison, The Who, Head soundtrack & I've just noticed a Goodies album. Bill Oddie was, in fact, one of the finest composers of the 70s.

Which album, if push comes to shove, is your all-time favourite?

Monkees - Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn & Jones Ltd. While all the 'cool' press were lauding praise on the new wave of mid sixties bands like The Byrds & Buffalo Springfield, the Monkees were seen as fakes. But this album has everything you could ever want - folk-rock, jingy guitar pop, psychedelia, mod pop. It's wonderful - equal to any of the material by the 'rated' artists. It sold bugger all, as all the Monkees fans were hitting puberty & spending their money on kinky boots, drugs & tampons, but it has that lack of side that appeals to my strange tastes.

Which artiste, other than yourself, have you ever wanted to be?

Never really fancied being anyone else, although I recall I quite fancied being in Ned's Atomic Dustbin. Like being in the Banana Splits but without having to wash. Oh yes - & I'd quite like to be Hemingway please.

What are the pros & cons of being ccc?

Pros: It's easy to spell.
Cons: I've worn out the 'c' on my keyboard.

Can you recall the most embarrassing & bizarre thing that has ever happened to you? Tell us some stories, please!!!

Embarrassing: Going to Manchester many years ago with my best pal. We stopped off at a B&B in Bakewell & proceeded to smoke copious amounts of illegal substances. Anyway, we got the giggles &, I'm sorry to say, I proceeded to shit myself laughing.
I scurried off to the bathroom whilst Maff was choking with laughter & noticed a strange black mural on the wall, glass-like, with unusual patterns. I decided the best thing to do was to fill the sink full of water & squat over it - do you see? So there I was, a-swishing & a-sploshing away, when suddenly the bathroom was lit up. The mural was in fact a window & the landlady, having turned on the light in the next room, was now peering through the glass & coughing extremely loudly...

Bizarre: Last year I was sending ridiculous emails in to my local paper to see if they'd get printed in the letters page - including a few from old ladies thanking a superhero dressed as a monkey for returning their handbags etc. Anyway - next thing I knew the local paper contacted me as they wanted to write an article on 'Monkeyman'. Within a week, it was all over the national press & I'd come home from work to find BBC 24 News vans parked in the village, reporters knocking on the door & receiving phonecalls from radio stations. When it was revealed to be a hoax, the local newspaper wrote a scathing article about me - what did they expect? A real superhero?

The First of ccc:

First album you ever bought = Sgt Pepper. Sounds corny, but there we are. I saved up my pocket money for weeks & weeks - took the bus to Watford on my own for the first time & then realised I didn't actually have a record player. My older brother let me play it about three times on his Lloytron super-stack hifi until I badgered my mum for a stereo for Christmas.

First movie you watched that gave you severe wood = Calamity Jane. All those whips did it for me. For some unknown reason, many of my formulative years were spent lusting after Doris Day. I assume it was after hearing her singing "Move Over Darling" - as erotic an experience there can be. Whenever I saw current photos of her in her 60's or 70's, I'd have the arduous task of pondering: "Would I...?"

First book or mag you read that was scary = Sparky Annual 1970. Similar to the Beano, there was a particular cartoon about two children whose mother had disappeared. Their father met a wicked stepmother, who, it turned out, was a witch & had turned their mother into a bird. Sounds shit, but I was an impressionable child...

First concert you went to that was awesome = Best concert I ever saw was the Divine Comedy playing in a pub in Canvey Island. Neil Hannon was mates with the landlord & chose to play a warm up gig before his USA tour. It was an autumnal Sunday evening, the sea breeze nipping at my nips & it was all rather splendid. Plus he told a heckler, the size of Bluto, to fuck off - which was nice.

First mash-up you heard that rocked your world = Reverend Dan - "Get This Organ Started". He'd plopped a link on, I clicked it & was absolutely blown to pieces. How the hell did he do that? From there, I went to his site, clicked on the links - found GYBO & then, suddenly, was faced with thousands of the damned things. Read up on the FAQ's, got a copy of Acid Pro 4 & that was it - my social life, gone.

Which bootlegger, in your opinion, do you think is the most underrated?

Superdan. Just because he was so nice to me in Harrow.

What do you think is the 'secret ingredient' behind a ccc boot?

An all-encompassing love of music, a record collection that stops dead after 1979, an understanding girlfriend & many, many, many cigarettes.

Any boots you wished you've done but didn't?

GHP's I'm A Believer / Paperback was, so...bloody obvious - Gah! Glad it was him that did it though - I'd have just messed it up.

What was your reaction when you discovered that someone was bootlegging your boots on eBay?

Shock, then pride, then anger, then pride, then a little more shock, more pride & then, before I had a chance to react properly, they were gone...

"The older the geezer gets, the better are his boots..." Discuss...

The thing I love about mashes is that you can tell a lot about the 'mashee'(?) by their song selection. The chances are that the boots you enjoy the most are done by someone from your own peer group. So - no. I disagree. I suppose you get better technically from practising, but the average person will only download tracks that utilise artists they enjoy. More like "The older the geezer that downloads the old geezer's mashes, the better his boots seem to the old geezer."

Let's play word association. We mention a name & you give us your thoughts...

Zimmerman = Best fake motorcycle crash ever
The Concretes = Mazzy Star
Ultra396 = Pot pourri
Boom Selection = Pot noodle
EMI = No reason why
MTV Mash = No idea
Syd Barrett = Effervescing
Julie Newmar = Purrrr
Prince Nelson Rogers = Bambi
Charles Manson = The 5th Monkee

All your boots seem to have that sixties connection. What is it about that era that inspires you?

Having an elder brother & sister & being an inquisitive little bastard - I went through their record collections like a rat up a drainpipe. My sister had all the Beatles, Monkees & Motown - my brother had all the reggae, prog rock & rawk. I'm kind of stuck in that decade & just pick at odds & sods after 1970 - then buy everything they've ever recorded. I'm thoroughly ashamed at my record collection - yet, disgracefully proud at the same time.

What do you remember about the following years:

1969 = Year I was born. Don't remember much apart from milk. So much milk. I understand The Archies were number one when I was born, which explains a lot, really.
1985 = I remember the Duran-ees returning from Live Aid, each one arguing over who cried the most during David Bowie's passionate lament. Plus Aztec Camera, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, O' Levels, buying my first Dylan album & masturbating furiously over the lovely Doris Day (not literally, you understand).
1989 = The NME, when it was still great - the Stone Roses being on the front page every single week. The Roses inspired me to quit my job & join a band. We were almost successful (big in Bushey) & since then I've never looked forward.
1993 = First ever Glastonbury, bucket loads of dope & stupid hair.
1997 = Giving up dope & experimenting with beer (Hair not quite as stupid - but still stupid).

What's your favourite Saturday night record?

Divine Comedy - Promenade. This is right up there in my all-time top five favourite albums. Perfect with fine wine, good company & rare cheese. One of those albums that actually makes you feel more intelligent after listening to it.

And your Sunday morning one?

Euphoria - A Gift From Euphoria. A sumptuous album recorded by two Canadians in 1969. It's brimming with lush orchestration, psychedelia & bizarre sound effects. They split up after one album, were never heard of again - or since (the album sold bugger all) & one of them is now rumoured to be a woman. Perfect. Busted would die for that kind of publicity.

What's the most ridiculous rumour you've heard being said about you?

I used to get accused of being gay as I seemed to attract gay men like a magnet. Must be that huge handlebar moustache I used to wear (or was it the red indian outfit...?)

Describe the average ccc day.

5:00am: Get woken up by my girlfriend (& cat) going to work (& shitting in next door's garden) I wish my girlfriend would stop doing that - & then back to sleep.
7:30am: Stagger downstairs for coffee & a cigarette - watch the brilliant 'Big Cook, Little Cook' ("My name's Ben & my name's Small, we've got the cleanest kitchen of all") on BBC2 - feed the cat & then off to work.
9:00am - 1:00pm: Spend the morning working my balls off for a publishing company.
1:00pm - 2:00pm: Either go for a swim or go to the pub (depending on the pain of working at a publishing company between 9:00am - 1:00pm).
3:00pm - 5:00pm: Spend the afternoon working my balls off for a publishing company.
6:00pm - 6:05pm: Feed & play with the cat. Mess around doing all the things I want to do; mashing, listening to music etc before my girlfriend gets home at 6:05pm.
6:05pm - midnight: Hoovering, washing up, chores...

Any principles of life you live by?

It's all too easy & boring to be a nasty bastard - if a dog can do it, then why be that low? It's much more of a challenge to be nice to people. I say give a flower to a complete git tomorrow.

What are your plans for the future?

To marry the love of my life, to get my arse in gear & finish (& redo) the Revolved project & do as I've always done - bumble along blindly & see what happens.

What do you think the future for bootlegs / mash-ups / remixes would be like, given that being a home musician is so easy these days?

I've not been as excited about a musical movement since the baggy / Britpop era. I wish the technology had been around as a teenager - I had all the ideas, but just couldn't express or put a name to them. When Maggie pushed hard on students to get out & get jobs, she also killed off all the youngsters who (in the 60's & 70's) had time to compose songs, form bands, gig & express themselves. It's the time factor that killed music in the latter half of the 80's. If Lennon & McCartney had been born two generations later they'd have been working in Macdonalds. Once the record companies & media finally latch on I suspect it'll be killed off - but, for now, you just can't beat the thrill of scurrying around the Internet & discovering great music - unavailable anywhere else - & claiming it as your own. I love it.

*Exclusive ccc Boot*

Dreaming Of Cats (The Cure vs The Coral) [OFFLINE]

You can check out more of ccc's boots at his website here, or visit his Revolved project site here.